Your Color Is Starting To Fade (from a special guest poet!)

Please see more of this poet's work here:
http://noorkab4.blog.com/2012/09/25/your-color-is-starting-to-fade/

Your Color is Starting to Fade

Everytime I try to look at your face;
I can’t help myself, I need to look away;
No… I have come to learn that it’s not hate;
It’s my need to move away from you;
To avoid hurting my soul again;
To avoid being held hostage by your soul;
You used to make me feel safe;
And now I’m staring in to a black hole;
No one can see anything, no one can escape.
Forgive me, for I have sinned in your presence;
My soul is not as innocent as it seems;
Yes… I have had a taste of pleasure;
In seeing you suffer, bent on your knees.
Because I can’t bring my self to forget;
That horrid moment when he decided to take me away;
You enjoyed that he made me suffer;
My soul lost in his shadows, ever since that day.
I am the fear;
And I fear myself;
I am my only salvation;
Yet I can’t seem to forgive or forget.
Forgive me my red rose;
For I am going to throw you away;
Your color is no longer red enough to remind me;
That tommorow will always be a new day.
Forgive me my red rose;
As your petals fall away ;
All the memories we shared;
Carved inside of my heart;
Always on my tongue, always on display.
One by one, they fall around me in circles;
They don’t want me to leave, but I can no longer stay;
The past is keeping me from believing;
I have nothing left to wait for;
You are no longer red;
You can no longer stay.

The Shoes I Couldn't Fill

For so long my life was haunted
By the shoes I couldn't fill
Of someone I'd never even met
And likely never will
I knew you had loved her very much
But I hoped in time you would move on
I didn't understand your need to cling
To things that are long gone
And I've found it's useless to compete
With your version of the past
You remember only the happiness
And forget why it didn't last
So I had to let you go
I was playing a game I'd never win
The gate around your heart is locked
And you'll never let me in

The Version of You That Loved Me

I've learned all too well
That there are many versions of ourselves
Multiple characters that we play
Depending on where we are
In space, in mind, in time
And like the sky changes
We too change
From one version of ourselves to another
And so I justed wanted to ask you
Before you leave for good
What ever happened
To the version of you that loved me?
Is it still there somewhere
Waiting for a better day?
Or did I kill it off somehow
By my cruelty and my lies?
You know that I'd give anything
To have that version of you back
But I've just got a feeling
It just doesn't exist
Anymore